Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
