im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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