i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
