Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
