Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
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