yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
