he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize