Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
