He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
