she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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