i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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