Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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