DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
