we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
