so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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