he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize