I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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