I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
