Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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