So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
