All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
