i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
