Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
