I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
