he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
