I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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