Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
