i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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