Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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