I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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