i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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