i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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