So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
