She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize