I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
