do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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