I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
