ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
