Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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