we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
