i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize