You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
