are you so shy because you have an std?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
