evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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