the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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