Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Someone signed my nipple.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
