Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
