if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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