Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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