Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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