I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize