All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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