There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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