shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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