So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize