Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
