she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
