it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
