he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i drank out of a bidet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
last night I used snow as a chaser
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
